Sundae blues

The impossibility of turning back

to that street

a blank space without your face

my parents house and the picket fence, 

lie, we never had one, we did however stuck to appearances,

tick TOC,

seasons greetings and never complained 

about seeing his eyes turn wild by the sight of her

the nuances of self destruction

habits ready made

bound to bleach 

a restless soul, 

a crier

an empath

whatever works

little more

than a variation

in hormones or lack of understanding

lunacy, I didn’t mind the gap,

instead

why we can’t go back

even if there is enough

to drink

to soothe

or drown 

to swallow, snort

(and even enlighten) 

our sorrows

we have it all, the so called love, 

the cherry past Sunday

to laugh amidst the field of dying lilies

us

of one more week past thirty,

near the void 

us

to dance untampered

us

calling out loud for an angel

send me optimism 

or

a kiss goodbye.